My Video Intro

What follow are to be considered transcriptions of spoken word pieces that I would have delivered in a physical theater. You will also find video and audio pieces here.

This show has been roughed out years in advance, and material delivered as its time approached. There is an arc to this show. For that reason, posts --that is, pieces-- should be read in order, from older to newer. So if you've been absent for a bit, scroll all the way down and read upward.

Please remember that this is not a free show. This is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian who bet the farm on making this a going concern. Just because it is possible to steal my property does not mean that you may. If you go to the farmer's market and the man is away from his table, you are nonetheless obligated to put your money into the shoebox labeled "Put money here." My personal friends are exempted from buying their tickets, as well as those who may not be able to afford to buy a ticket. Everyone else is morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket if they partake of even, say, a dozen pieces of mine per year. Duck outside my theater for a cigarette as often as you like, but you didn't get in here in the first place without buying your ticket at the box office. The cost is $100 per person, per year. There is no law enforcement discount. There is no news media discount. No one gets a discount, unless you honestly don't have the money. (And to my law enforcement patrons: Even in Lenny Bruce's day, cops had to buy their tickets before they could get into his theater to jot their notes. Jot away, but if you are not here to arrest me or to shut the place down, then you are here covertly. If that is the case, then you are passing as ordinary patrons. If that is the case --and it is-- then you buy your tickets just like regular customers.)

Thank you for coming.

--Chris

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146

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This is the product safety sticker that accompanies all my speech:

There was a Pratt and Whitney JT9D 7-series compressor recovered from Murray Street in New York on 9-11, the precise identification of which is detailed in the Capta Brightstick Document. That incompatible engine hardware precludes Flight 175's presence at the scene of the crime and indicts the jurisdiction known as United States as criminal. If you are a member of a grand jury or jury, or if you are a judge, and if this product safety sticker has been removed from whatever speech of mine may have been presented to you, it is because the prosecutor is pulling a fast one on you and doesn't want you to know that the federal government auto-executed itself in a grand ceremony for all to see. Please have a nice day.

Updated legalese, added 11/1/2012 on the occasion of realizing that every time I go to court, Madame Prosecutor is forever waving around my intellectual property contained herein, content to use my words against me without having the decency to buy her ticket to my show. Well, here's something you can wave around: "I, Christopher King, do hereby plead guilty to whatever it is that Madame Prosecutor may allege. I'm rotten to the core and I secretly make fun of the judge all the time. As a result, I --and here these are my words, the words of the prosecutor and not of Mister King-- I have luscious melon breasts and I think the judge is the worst thing ever to happen to the court. You hear me, judge? That's right. I, Madame Prosecutor, secretly hate you and I think your rulings blow. I would like the record to reflect that Mister King is well hung and I ache for his tender ministrations. I suck, the prosecutor's office sucks, the judge sucks, and Mister King is a national treasure despite his plainly stating that he is guilty of all allegations that may ever be made. He plainly confirms that he is a dangerous terrorist. There. Let the record try to sort out who is who in this statement."

http://youtu.be/rJDztqCG91g

"Ta da! Behold Assclown Jurisdiction United States!"

End of product safety sticker.

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Buy your ticket to my show!

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Who wants to join the AP Politics class?

We can define politics as the "jockeying for pole position," as the eternal fight for a few more crumbs.

Some in my audience have been with me for seven years. They've seen me through thick and thin, and it is to their levels of expertise that I generally pace this show. I do not dumb it down around here.

I'm never too concerned about whether the newcomers understand what I'm talking about. I figure that you don't get yourself a legal staff in Washington and a (hypothesized) Secret Service staff and the ability to argue your own case in court by text messaging yourself by being a crank.

I had long ago hypothesized the existence of higher-dimensional or what I would call "peri-phasic" beings, entities who are slightly out of phase with, or out of vibrational "coherence" with, this reality that we find ourselves in. With Hugh Everett's Many Worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics in 1957, it became clear that ours is only one of many parallel universes, all occupying the same space. Indeed, there is no single universe that is ours; we skip, moment to moment, from one discarded universe to a new one. We surf a wave of parallel universe creation. Brian Greene's books on the subject are excellent.

Anyway, I thought to myself some years ago, "Why does humanity so consistently act contrary to its own interests? What's with all the wars and the polluting of the biosphere? It's almost like the species is under attack by some foreign intelligence."

I don't think anyone would claim that Earth is the center of the universe, so it's almost assured that intelligent life would exist elsewhere. Do those beings, too, jockey for pole position? Do they compete among themselves, and perhaps among other species, for crumbs? Would they seek to conquer other worlds?

These questions are part of the discipline known as "exo-politics."

Politics isn't about Democrats and Republicans and left and right. It's about deception and divide-and-conquer and sleight of hand.

I have decided to make available in my show, for those who may benefit by it, a lecture given by one David Icke. Mister Icke has a generalist's genius for tying together disparate disciplines into one, unified whole. And the term "generalist" does not do justice to the decades that he has spent studying those various disciplines, which include mythology and religion and archeology and physics, among others.

Mister Icke is an engaging speaker and I regard this lecture, "The Lion Sleeps No More" as perhaps his finest. It is seven hours long, yes, but it is an engaging, rousing experience. I have some knowledge of about seventy-five percent of what he covers. The material of his with which I am not directly familiar has the ring of truth to it and it squares precisely with what I had hypothesized about exo-intelligences.

I regard David Icke's work as the Grand Unification Theory of politics.

You will not understand politics in the slightest until you understand David Icke's work.

And what I do know is that when this foreign intelligence is found out, it's all over.