I have long enjoyed Jon Stewart's work. And for a couple of years I delighted in being able to type something in the morning and watch him fly into a rage at me later that evening. It was like having my own humanoid robot. I hope you'll forgive me. I have a curious sense of humor.
I once traveled to Boston to watch him perform live. I even bought two tickets, even though it was just me. (I will note, quite innocently enough, that he has never bought a ticket to my show.)
I fear that you took something I said the wrong way. I said, "I need to mean what I say." Time was short in my continuing on my artistic and political trajectories. That window was closed and that avenue no longer useful to my task, which has always been the careful sorting of the tangled mess of political tripwires in the Middle East.
I always knew that I would be here. And along the way I needed to prove that I mean what I say. I figured that if I could have a comedy career, so much the better. But that has never been my primary concern, and I would not allow that consideration to divert me from my path.
Audacious? Perhaps. But no one ever got anywhere by thinking small. So why not swing for the fence when it comes to professional distinctions?
I need the more easily aggrieved among your people to understand that Israel is being set up as an astral sacrifice, a massive human sacrifice to supernatural beings. That was Israel's true function from the start.
Yes, it is true that Israel was not to have been established by the sword. But what's done is done.
Part of my task here is to completely defuse that tangled knot of tripwires and prevent that planet-wrecking sacrifice. The world depends on Israel's survival.
So I hope that your people will forgive my intemperate language as I have worked assiduously for ten years now to place myself into the position of uttering words that will call into being a sequence of events that prevents your homeland's disappearance in a great, blinding flash.
Now buy your ticket.
