My Video Intro

What follow are to be considered transcriptions of spoken word pieces that I would have delivered in a physical theater. You will also find video and audio pieces here.

This show has been roughed out years in advance, and material delivered as its time approached. There is an arc to this show. For that reason, posts --that is, pieces-- should be read in order, from older to newer. So if you've been absent for a bit, scroll all the way down and read upward.

Please remember that this is not a free show. This is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian who bet the farm on making this a going concern. Just because it is possible to steal my property does not mean that you may. If you go to the farmer's market and the man is away from his table, you are nonetheless obligated to put your money into the shoebox labeled "Put money here." My personal friends are exempted from buying their tickets, as well as those who may not be able to afford to buy a ticket. Everyone else is morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket if they partake of even, say, a dozen pieces of mine per year. Duck outside my theater for a cigarette as often as you like, but you didn't get in here in the first place without buying your ticket at the box office. The cost is $100 per person, per year. There is no law enforcement discount. There is no news media discount. No one gets a discount, unless you honestly don't have the money. (And to my law enforcement patrons: Even in Lenny Bruce's day, cops had to buy their tickets before they could get into his theater to jot their notes. Jot away, but if you are not here to arrest me or to shut the place down, then you are here covertly. If that is the case, then you are passing as ordinary patrons. If that is the case --and it is-- then you buy your tickets just like regular customers.)

Thank you for coming.

--Chris

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146

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This is the product safety sticker that accompanies all my speech:

There was a Pratt and Whitney JT9D 7-series compressor recovered from Murray Street in New York on 9-11, the precise identification of which is detailed in the Capta Brightstick Document. That incompatible engine hardware precludes Flight 175's presence at the scene of the crime and indicts the jurisdiction known as United States as criminal. If you are a member of a grand jury or jury, or if you are a judge, and if this product safety sticker has been removed from whatever speech of mine may have been presented to you, it is because the prosecutor is pulling a fast one on you and doesn't want you to know that the federal government auto-executed itself in a grand ceremony for all to see. Please have a nice day.

Updated legalese, added 11/1/2012 on the occasion of realizing that every time I go to court, Madame Prosecutor is forever waving around my intellectual property contained herein, content to use my words against me without having the decency to buy her ticket to my show. Well, here's something you can wave around: "I, Christopher King, do hereby plead guilty to whatever it is that Madame Prosecutor may allege. I'm rotten to the core and I secretly make fun of the judge all the time. As a result, I --and here these are my words, the words of the prosecutor and not of Mister King-- I have luscious melon breasts and I think the judge is the worst thing ever to happen to the court. You hear me, judge? That's right. I, Madame Prosecutor, secretly hate you and I think your rulings blow. I would like the record to reflect that Mister King is well hung and I ache for his tender ministrations. I suck, the prosecutor's office sucks, the judge sucks, and Mister King is a national treasure despite his plainly stating that he is guilty of all allegations that may ever be made. He plainly confirms that he is a dangerous terrorist. There. Let the record try to sort out who is who in this statement."

http://youtu.be/rJDztqCG91g

"Ta da! Behold Assclown Jurisdiction United States!"

End of product safety sticker.

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Buy your ticket to my show!

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

This is the last time I will cover Fukushima. So listen up.

This is considered housekeeping material. That means that it is not directly related to my show (and is a distinct downer, something I would otherwise try to avoid) but I owe it to my audience to tell you, much like I would warn you about an icy sidewalk in the parking lot.

It is my considered evaluation of the Fukushima catastrophe that it is time for people on the west coast to come up with an exit plan.

Fukushima is not fixed and it will never be fixed, barring the use of closely guarded, advanced technology like time bubbles. And since that technology is in the hands of the very same elements of the military-industrial complex that deliberately caused the meltdowns and the ensuing tsunami in the first place, I don't see that happening.

It is just a matter of time before the ground at that site becomes unstable due to seismic activity or supersaturation by contaminated coolant water. And when that happens, spent fuel pool number four will collapse. And without the constant application of boronated coolant water, those spent fuel rods --which collectively contain orders of magnitude more radioactivity than the core of the reactor-- will catch fire. And when that happens, it's all over. At that time, the entire complex will be abandoned. And then the remaining spent fuel pools will go uncooled. And then they'll catch fire, too.

Wait, there's more. The coolant water that has been injected into the breached cores over the past two and a half years has been leaking right into the ground. There will come a time in the definite future that the plot of land on which that complex sits simply will not be traversable by humans. At that time, the entire complex will be abandoned, resulting in short order of the combustion of every last spent fuel rod at the complex. Those spent fuel rods, when burned, will release more radiation into the atmosphere than all the nuclear weapons in the world. Check my math, but I'm pretty sure I'm right.

My back-of-the-envelope calculation seems to indicate that this will occur within the next two years. If not then, then it'll be five. If not then, then it'll be ten. The point is, Fukushima will never be fixed. And since it will never be fixed, it is just a matter of time before the west coast gets hammered with an entire nuclear war's worth of radioactivity.

Not to mention that the contaminated coolant water is and has been discharged directly into the Pacific Ocean. And a third of the world's waters will become bitter. And that contaminated water will lap at the shores of the west coast and aerosolize and blow inland, providing yet another avenue of poisoning.

I've been warning you for some years that America will be completely annihilated for your transgressions --in particular, your orgy of violence over the past decade, all predicated upon falsehoods, abetted by your own willful ignorance. (I am perfectly morally blameless in your crimes because I have spent every last nickel and every last iota of energy I possessed in my efforts to gather my audience and warn you. I am in no way associated with your nation. I disavow any association with America.)

God, the architect of this simulation in which we live, has "lifted his hand" from this nation and will permit it to be completely destroyed. You have turned that moral clockspring too far in the wrong direction and it will spring back violently.

As Doctor Bill Deagle says about Fukushima, "You won't have time to die of cancer. Takes too long. You'll die of a heart attack or a stroke."

In short, and this is the last time I will discuss this, so this is your final warning, North America soon will not be a healthful place to live, and the west coast in particular.

I would urge all my audience members to seriously consider moving away from the west coast within a year. At the very least, I believe that every effort should be made to relocate children. Their growing bodies take up these radio isotopes more quickly than adult bodies.

If you live in the Pacific Northwest in particular, I believe that your children will die before you do.

My conscience is now clear.

For more information, go to enenews.com. For what I regard as the best medical advice on pretty much anything, including radiation issues, visit nutrimedical.com.

I will never discuss this again, so do not expect further warnings from me.