My Video Intro

What follow are to be considered transcriptions of spoken word pieces that I would have delivered in a physical theater. You will also find video and audio pieces here.

This show has been roughed out years in advance, and material delivered as its time approached. There is an arc to this show. For that reason, posts --that is, pieces-- should be read in order, from older to newer. So if you've been absent for a bit, scroll all the way down and read upward.

Please remember that this is not a free show. This is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian who bet the farm on making this a going concern. Just because it is possible to steal my property does not mean that you may. If you go to the farmer's market and the man is away from his table, you are nonetheless obligated to put your money into the shoebox labeled "Put money here." My personal friends are exempted from buying their tickets, as well as those who may not be able to afford to buy a ticket. Everyone else is morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket if they partake of even, say, a dozen pieces of mine per year. Duck outside my theater for a cigarette as often as you like, but you didn't get in here in the first place without buying your ticket at the box office. The cost is $100 per person, per year. There is no law enforcement discount. There is no news media discount. No one gets a discount, unless you honestly don't have the money. (And to my law enforcement patrons: Even in Lenny Bruce's day, cops had to buy their tickets before they could get into his theater to jot their notes. Jot away, but if you are not here to arrest me or to shut the place down, then you are here covertly. If that is the case, then you are passing as ordinary patrons. If that is the case --and it is-- then you buy your tickets just like regular customers.)

Thank you for coming.

--Chris

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146

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This is the product safety sticker that accompanies all my speech:

There was a Pratt and Whitney JT9D 7-series compressor recovered from Murray Street in New York on 9-11, the precise identification of which is detailed in the Capta Brightstick Document. That incompatible engine hardware precludes Flight 175's presence at the scene of the crime and indicts the jurisdiction known as United States as criminal. If you are a member of a grand jury or jury, or if you are a judge, and if this product safety sticker has been removed from whatever speech of mine may have been presented to you, it is because the prosecutor is pulling a fast one on you and doesn't want you to know that the federal government auto-executed itself in a grand ceremony for all to see. Please have a nice day.

Updated legalese, added 11/1/2012 on the occasion of realizing that every time I go to court, Madame Prosecutor is forever waving around my intellectual property contained herein, content to use my words against me without having the decency to buy her ticket to my show. Well, here's something you can wave around: "I, Christopher King, do hereby plead guilty to whatever it is that Madame Prosecutor may allege. I'm rotten to the core and I secretly make fun of the judge all the time. As a result, I --and here these are my words, the words of the prosecutor and not of Mister King-- I have luscious melon breasts and I think the judge is the worst thing ever to happen to the court. You hear me, judge? That's right. I, Madame Prosecutor, secretly hate you and I think your rulings blow. I would like the record to reflect that Mister King is well hung and I ache for his tender ministrations. I suck, the prosecutor's office sucks, the judge sucks, and Mister King is a national treasure despite his plainly stating that he is guilty of all allegations that may ever be made. He plainly confirms that he is a dangerous terrorist. There. Let the record try to sort out who is who in this statement."

http://youtu.be/rJDztqCG91g

"Ta da! Behold Assclown Jurisdiction United States!"

End of product safety sticker.

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Buy your ticket to my show!

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

It appears that the doomsday clock of the hyperviolent termination of all United States institutions and employees has been moved back a few minutes.

WASHINGTON — The Obama administration scrambled on Tuesday to slow Congressional opposition to the National Security Agency’s domestic spying operations as the House of Representatives prepared to vote on legislation that would block the agency’s collection of records about every phone call dialed or received inside the United States.

Gen. Keith B. Alexander, the N.S.A. director, met with Democrats and Republicans to lobby against a proposed amendment to a military appropriations bill that would stop the financing for its phone data collection program. The Republican-sponsored legislation is one of the first Congressional efforts to curb the agency’s domestic spying efforts since they were leaked by Edward J. Snowden, a former N.S.A. contractor.

N.S.A. Director Lobbies House on Eve of Critical Vote - NYTimes.com

I remember fondly the good ol' days of public service, when government employees thought quite highly of themselves and their brilliance and their leadership qualities and administrative acumen.

Alas, events of the past decade have forced civil servants to recognize their complete uselessness and total irrelevance to any meaningful conversation.

If the Republic is to be defended, you won't want government employees doing it. After turning your back for five minutes, you'd find that you had been robbed blind and a chain placed around your neck.

The National Security Agency is the eyes and ears of the National Security State. The National Security State is what I call a territorially inspecific political union. It is a political structure with a distinctly corporate flavor, a transnational structure that fancies itself a supranational political  structure, a union made up of foreign and domestic bankers, armaments manufacturers, career military men, corporate "news" media, establishmentarian politicians, and whatever other hangers-on who might want their turn at the public feedlot, all of whom comprise a witting or unwitting collection of parasites known as the National Security State.

When insiders call Snowden a "traitor," they mean it. But what most people don't understand is that these corrupt insiders are referring to treason to a political structure that does not exist outside their own minds, which is the National Security State. Snowden betrayed the National Security State. That's what these corrupt insiders mean to say.

The National Security State hides inside the legal structure known as the United States, safely ensconced like a tick, hidden behind legal firewalls of compartmentalization and security clearances. Because of these firewalls, there is no meaningful United States oversight of the National Security State's activities.

The National Security State attacked the United States on September 11, 2001. Thanks to people like me, it failed. (Even if I were to receive a medal for what I regard as a mere continuation of my military service, my show being shot through with game theory considerations and chaos theory considerations and misdirection and subterfuge, leavened with a dash of strategic uncertainty, I would toss that medal right in the trash. Why would I soil my uniform with a medal conferred by a military that fields fat generals like Alexander, imaginary war heroes with a chest full of fruit salad, the crooked or the incompetent who go on and on endlessly about the terriss while doing nothing whatsoever about incompatible engine hardware on Murray Street?)

Alexander is a fraud and a coward. He works for the National Security State, that parasitic collection of snake oil salesmen and con artists and stage magicians who have worked assiduously for an entire decade to steal your natural rights and deliver them to their foreign banker masters. Alexander is your typical military officer: a boot-licking, ladder-climbing fraud --just like fully ninety-five percent of this nation's officer corps. He is a turncoat. That is all he could aspire to. Honor and bravery are alien concepts to his kind. Ignore him.

If you do not shut down the National Security State, which has its origins in the National Security Act of 1948, you can rest assured that the United States will be hyperviolently terminated and its every sash-wearing employee executed. The good people of this country will no longer tolerate the dismantling of the Republic and the theft of the natural rights originally defended by it.

This is not playtime.

You kill the NSA and you kill the National Security State. You kill the National Security State and you ensure the survival of the United States of America, as well as the restoration of the Republic that jurisdiction was conceived to defend.

Get crackin'. If all else fails, kinetically terminate the supply of coolant water to the NSA's gargantuan data centers. You interrupt that water and their equipment burns up. You achieve that and the National Security State dies within six hours.

Easy as pie.