My Video Intro

What follow are to be considered transcriptions of spoken word pieces that I would have delivered in a physical theater. You will also find video and audio pieces here.

This show has been roughed out years in advance, and material delivered as its time approached. There is an arc to this show. For that reason, posts --that is, pieces-- should be read in order, from older to newer. So if you've been absent for a bit, scroll all the way down and read upward.

Please remember that this is not a free show. This is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian who bet the farm on making this a going concern. Just because it is possible to steal my property does not mean that you may. If you go to the farmer's market and the man is away from his table, you are nonetheless obligated to put your money into the shoebox labeled "Put money here." My personal friends are exempted from buying their tickets, as well as those who may not be able to afford to buy a ticket. Everyone else is morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket if they partake of even, say, a dozen pieces of mine per year. Duck outside my theater for a cigarette as often as you like, but you didn't get in here in the first place without buying your ticket at the box office. The cost is $100 per person, per year. There is no law enforcement discount. There is no news media discount. No one gets a discount, unless you honestly don't have the money. (And to my law enforcement patrons: Even in Lenny Bruce's day, cops had to buy their tickets before they could get into his theater to jot their notes. Jot away, but if you are not here to arrest me or to shut the place down, then you are here covertly. If that is the case, then you are passing as ordinary patrons. If that is the case --and it is-- then you buy your tickets just like regular customers.)

Thank you for coming.

--Chris

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146

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This is the product safety sticker that accompanies all my speech:

There was a Pratt and Whitney JT9D 7-series compressor recovered from Murray Street in New York on 9-11, the precise identification of which is detailed in the Capta Brightstick Document. That incompatible engine hardware precludes Flight 175's presence at the scene of the crime and indicts the jurisdiction known as United States as criminal. If you are a member of a grand jury or jury, or if you are a judge, and if this product safety sticker has been removed from whatever speech of mine may have been presented to you, it is because the prosecutor is pulling a fast one on you and doesn't want you to know that the federal government auto-executed itself in a grand ceremony for all to see. Please have a nice day.

Updated legalese, added 11/1/2012 on the occasion of realizing that every time I go to court, Madame Prosecutor is forever waving around my intellectual property contained herein, content to use my words against me without having the decency to buy her ticket to my show. Well, here's something you can wave around: "I, Christopher King, do hereby plead guilty to whatever it is that Madame Prosecutor may allege. I'm rotten to the core and I secretly make fun of the judge all the time. As a result, I --and here these are my words, the words of the prosecutor and not of Mister King-- I have luscious melon breasts and I think the judge is the worst thing ever to happen to the court. You hear me, judge? That's right. I, Madame Prosecutor, secretly hate you and I think your rulings blow. I would like the record to reflect that Mister King is well hung and I ache for his tender ministrations. I suck, the prosecutor's office sucks, the judge sucks, and Mister King is a national treasure despite his plainly stating that he is guilty of all allegations that may ever be made. He plainly confirms that he is a dangerous terrorist. There. Let the record try to sort out who is who in this statement."

http://youtu.be/rJDztqCG91g

"Ta da! Behold Assclown Jurisdiction United States!"

End of product safety sticker.

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Buy your ticket to my show!

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Within five years, all United States law enforcement officers will be knelt down on the sidewalk and summarily executed.

Hmm? What's that? Oh, it's called "assembling an audience." I'm very good at it. Welcome to my show, if you were not here already. Make sure you pay the girl at the front with the cash box. This show is not free.

Imagine yourself at the county fair. There's all these tents along the fairway. I, as a carnival performer, must somehow convince people to choose my show over all others. How am I to do that? Well, obviously I am going to say controversial things in a voice strategically loud enough so that people walking down the fairway outside can hear me. And as I've said before, being in the middle of a room full of cops is the absolute safest place for me to be, given the nature of my material.

When I did my Fringe Festival show in Orlando in 2004, I promoted my show by standing on the street corner in the days leading up to my opening and handing out buttons, the kind that you could pin to your shirt or your hat. The button had my promotional photograph on it, the show schedule, the venue location, etc. But most importantly, the copy on the button read "Present this button to the bartender for a free beer. The beer may be free, but do tip the wait staff."

I had arranged with the owner of the bar at which I performed to provide a couple kegs' worth of free beer. I figured that even if the show completely blew, you couldn't complain too much about your wasted five bucks in admission because at least you got a free beer out of the deal.

It's called assembling an audience. It worked great.

If you are a law enforcement officer, you are in my theater because I have instructed you to be here. At no time should you believe that you are investigating me. I am not in your investigation. You are in my show. It has always been that way.

If you are a United States law enforcement officer, you will be dead within five years. This is why:

With this Sikh temple shooting, I am seeing a clear pattern of state-sponsored terrorism. First the Aurora shooting, which was an MK-ULTRA operation for reasons that I have already made clear, and now the Sikh temple shooting, which appears to have been what is known as a "drill gone live."

Both events are the handiwork of compartmentalized elements in the intelligence business, working with allied compartments in law enforcement.

There were multiple shooters at the temple. We know this from eyewitness accounts. And this is corroborated by establishment news organs like the Washington Post and the New York Times. They themselves stated that there were multiple shooters when they stated that there was only one. When you hear completely discredited news organs like the New York Times --which can't cover their own material about how their loved ones spent their final moments scrabbling at the walls and screaming as they got cooked alive in a run-of-the-mill urban renewal project-- when you hear them state that there was only one shooter, that automatically means that there were multiple shooters.

It is a very good rule of thumb. And I'm quite serious about that. You take what you read in the Washington Post and the New York Times, completely invert it, and you'll have the truth. That's why I read them. They are excellent news organizations, though completely inadvertently. I read newspapers so that I might know what is not true. Once I know what the lies for the day are, I can then do my own research into the matter, mix it all up in the mixing bowl I've got cradled in the crook of my arm, and bake my cake of tasty truth.

The truth is that the dead shooter at the Sikh temple was reportedly involved in some sort of white supremacist thing. (White supremacy is the province of the FBI. Remember that KKK march in Orlando some years back? Turns out it was run by the FBI.) And he was some ex-military psychological operations specialist. And along come the usual suspects to save the day, the Southern Poverty Law Center, to tell us all how they had been tracking this guy for a decade.

What they really mean to say is that they had been provocateuring the guy for a decade. Big difference.

The Southern Poverty Law Center and the Anti-Defamation League are Israeli intelligence agencies. They are not here to help. Their job is to pollute the public discourse, to pollute law enforcement training materials, and to pollute your legal system. (How many of your training materials had helpfully been prepared by the SPLC or the ADL? And what do those materials say? I'll tell you what they say. They say that the terriss are here and that's why we need to go to war for Israel, and how veterans are domestic extremiss, and that if you don't believe that terriss with box cutters pulled off 9-11 all by themselves or that if you lazily point out the existence of incompatible engine hardware on Murray Street, it's because you're a dangerous domestic terriss and you should be locked up.

If you are a law enforcement officer and you have ever read training materials prepared by the SPLC or the ADL, then it is no surprise that you don't know your ass from a hole in the ground. You are reading training materials prepared by propaganda adjuncts of the very intelligence agencies that annihilated your dead nation on 9-11. (It will be in these intelligence adjuncts' interest to lie to you. That way you can't catch the crooks. You can safely step on your own dicks some more and chase your own tails and otherwise be completely useless.)

See how easy it is? Hmm? Dum dum? If this were World War II, would you lap up whatever training materials that the Germans might helpfully provide?

The Southern Poverty Law Center also "helpfully" "happened" to have "been following" actors at Elohim City, which was reportedly the training ground for the Oklahoma City Bombing. They claim to have "penetrated" the radical group or to have been "surveilling" Timothy McVeigh. But Timothy McVeigh could not have theoretically had anything to do with the event. I know this because some of the rebar-reinforced concrete columns that were destroyed sustained a blast wave force of something on the order of 20 pounds per square inch. (That's less than you'd get by swinging a baseball bat. You're telling me that you can pulverize a rebar-reinforced concrete column with a baseball bat? Uh huh.) A military demolitions expert did all the calculations of the forces imparted by the ANFO bomb and found the forces lacking. All this information is contained in the book "The Final Report on the Bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Building," by Oklahoma state representative Charles Key. I have a copy of the book, signed by Mister Key himself, inscribed with the legend, "Buy the truth and do not sell it." It is because of that inscription that I trudge back in here after endless days of peering into an empty cash box at the ticket booth. I would maybe modify that proverb thusly: "Buy the truth and at least try to get room and board out of telling it."

The Oklahoma City Bombing was executed by the FBI and the ATF. McVeigh was just some ding dong they roped into it, the fall guy. I don't care what he confessed to. It was not theoretically possible to pulverize concrete columns with the 20 psi imparted by an ANFO bomb. Stop. Do not pass Go.

Attorney General Murder One didn't get that nickname from his involvement in Operation Fast and Furious. No, Attorney General Holder elected to be an accessory to mass murder when he covered up FBI involvement in the Oklahoma City Bombing.
Moore was the Arkansas gun dealer and FBI informant who worked with Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) informant Andreas Strassmeier, the man widely believed to have originally given McVeigh the idea of bombing the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City.
Both were handled by FBI agent Larry Potts, a senior FBI official who had allegedly personally ordered the murder of members of the Randy Weaver family at Ruby Ridge, Idaho.
Moore was being “run” by two FBI agents—known as Ross and Hayes—from the Hot Springs, Ark. office. But the Elohim City operation was not a two-bit FBI sting; it was authorized by top Justice officials.
At the time of the bombing, our current U.S. attorney general, Eric Holder, was managing FBI sting operations as U.S. attorney for the District of Columbia —and sitting in line to take over as deputy attorney general, which he did in 1997. One of Holder’s first jobs was to cover up the FBI’s role in the bombing.
“I think they put together this harebrained idea . . . to lure in all these militia groups under the pretense of teaching them how to . . . attack the federal government, and I think they planned to catch them in the act,” stated Jesse Trentadue, a Salt Lake City attorney who has been investigating the OKC bombing through a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit.
But the operation went terribly wrong when the explosives that the FBI authorized Moore to provide to McVeigh ended up being used in the actual bombing. The fingerprints of the two agents running the Elohim City operation were later found on the explosives discovered in 2005 at Nichols’s home.
“The Department of Justice, through the FBI and ATF informants, was involved in the Oklahoma City bombing,” said Trentadue.
http://theintelhub.com/2012/01/14/did-eric-holder-cover-up-fbi%E2%80%99s-role-in-%E2%80%9995-okc-bomb-plot/

So what was the motive for the FBI's execution of the bombing? The criminals in Washington wanted that nettlesome guarantor of lawful government, the people's constabulary, the unorganized militia, to go bye bye. The bombing was used as the rationale for the assault weapons ban of 1995 or whenever it was.

The criminals in Washington --and, by extension, the intelligence agencies that annihilated your dead nation on 9-11-- need all competing constabularies to go up into hyperspace. See, in hyperspace, no fundamental constabulary can catch the crooks in Washington and enforce fundamental law.

The purpose of the Oklahoma City Bombing was to demonize the unorganized militia, a perfectly lawful, perfectly legal component of American law enforcement. The unorganized militia are as American as apple pie.

Here is a video of Attorney General Murder One propounding upon some topic which is definitely outside his purview as a civil servant. He's saying that we need to "brainwash" the public about guns.



The man goes on and on for three minutes about something completely outside the scope of his duties, which, narrowly construed, is to shut the fuck up and enforce the law. No decent citizen needs to hear some unwashed government employee put on airs and prattle on endlessly. (And, yes, Mister Holder, you may buy your ticket like you're supposed to. You are in my theater because I had earlier instructed you to be here.)

So the good Attorney General's hands are dirty with the Oklahoma City Bombing, his hands are dirty with the "gun walking operation gone awry" called Operation Fast and Furious, and now I may safely predict that his hands are going to be dirty with this Sikh temple shooting.

MK-ULTRA operations are the province of intelligence agencies. Drills gone live are the province of law enforcement --in particular, the FBI. Everyone's got their specialty around here.

Now. Back to my original provocative statement. If you are a law enforcement officer, why will you be dead within five years?

As I have explained to you, one never engages an adversary on his own terms. And the one and only tool of the state is coercive force --the swinging of a baton or the shooting of a bullet. So if you would reshape your political environment, this is most effectively done non-violently. It's not because you're some kind of a sissy, but because you are wisely neutralizing your adversary's one and only weapon: physical violence.

And remember what that Israeli military officer said about Palestinian non-violent resistance: "We don't do Gandhi very well," meaning that they don't know how to handle non-violent resistance. They are completely powerless in the face of it.

Since the one and only tool of the state is violence, and if you engage that state non-violently, you win. It is not theoretically possible to lose a non-violent contest with the state. Conversely, it is not theoretically possible for the state --and, by extension, the criminals within its offices-- to win a non-violent contest. Just ask Gandhi. That "one, little brown man" brought the entire British Empire to its knees. They dutifully quit the territory, just as the man had instructed them to do.

It is not theoretically possible to prevail against non-violent resistance. Internalize that truth.

If this non-violent revolution of thought over the past decade continues much longer, the jurisdiction in Washington will be reclaimed by the people and then legion criminals will be brought to justice. It's a done deal. It is just a matter of time.

So before time runs out, this non-violent revolution must be converted into a physical contest. The state is tired of getting its ass kicked in the information war, hogtied into inaction by its non-violent adversaries.

Therefore, we can predict as assuredly as the sun will rise tomorrow that the criminals within certain offices in United States will gin up their own violent acts to be blamed on their non-violent adversaries, violent acts which will provide the perceived moral authority to employ the one and only tool the state has: violent coercive force.

Not to mention that these criminals need all competing, citizen constabularies disarmed.

In addition, these criminals need lawful law enforcement agencies to go bye bye. The Department of Homeland Security is your conquerors' preferred law enforcement agency. In the future, that's all there will be. It's the plan.

Those who conquered your dead nation on 9-11 need "old schoolers" in American law enforcement dead. Old schoolers are guys who actually might take exception to criminals flying planes into the Twin Towers, guys over forty, maybe. Guys who remember what this country was like when it didn't completely blow. You know, when America wasn't a total lump of dog shit.

DHS is a bunch of young punks, figuratively speaking. DHS is a foreign occupation government with no regard whatsoever for following fundamental law. (DHS will be shut down and its employees fired.)

FBI, Secret Service, the various state police --they're the old schoolers.

Old schoolers gotta go bye bye in order for the animals in DHS to take over all law enforcement activities on behalf of the foreign bankers who conquered you.

So these foreign bankers who annihilated your nation have numerous imperatives, all of which must occur prior to the non-violent reclamation of the United States government by its rightful owners, the people of America. These bankers need the people disarmed --and hence the UN treaty on small arms, which goes up for Senate vote soon-- and they need the old schoolers dead.

They are going to achieve that by getting those two constabularies --the people, and the the old schoolers-- to neutralize each other in a war. It is classic divide and conquer. A house divided cannot stand.

So what's going to happen is that these foreign bankers are going to command their private property, the United States government, to push and push and push the people until someone does something stupid and the shooting war starts. At that time, the state will possess the perceived moral authority to use its one and only tool: violence. And there is then going to be a massive war between the two lawful constabularies around here: the people vs. the old schoolers --natural allies, but thanks to provocateuring which will occur, they will be tricked into fighting one another.

Lemme guess: Your training materials were provided by SPLC and ADL --you remember them, don't you? They're the propaganda adjuncts to the intelligence agencies that conquered your dead nation-- those materials tell you that your enemies are returning veterans and gun owners, right? They're the new domestic terriss?

Why would you permit your conquerors to tell you who your enemies are? 

Veterans and gun owners are the salt of the earth. Only in the cuckoo, upside-down, Twilight Zone filth universe of the SPLC and the ADL are veterans and gun owners the bad guys.

The old schoolers are being divided from their natural allies: veterans and gun owners --precisely those people who might take exception to Rabbi Zakheim's placement of a 7-series compressor on Murray Street, and precisely those people who might feel inclined to defend lawful government.

So. I am going to rub my temples and foretell the future: If United States law enforcement officers are as stupid in the next months and years as you have proven yourselves to be over the past decade, you will be tricked into going to war with your natural allies in law enforcement, the American people. You will lose. They far outnumber you, they far outgun you, and their way of life is at stake whereas your highest aspiration in this world, apparently, is a pension and a vacation house at the lake. If you waddle your fat asses down the street and bark your nonsense, the people will kneel you down on the sidewalk and summarily execute you.

...And that's the whole plan: The elimination of the old schoolers, civil war among the people, the imposition of martial law, and the complete jettisoning of all fundamental law as your conquerors fully install their new government.

Do not be tricked into warring with your natural allies in law enforcement, the American people. They are on your side. Veterans are on your side. Gun owners are on your side.

Do you trust my judgment? Then listen to me. Your enemies are these:

  • Department of Homeland Security
  • CIA
  • Mossad
  • Adjunct intelligence agencies of Israel, including SPLC and ADL.
  • Compartments within the FBI which are involved in provocateured shootings and bombings.

The nation is being divided and conquered. Do not permit that to occur.

Buy your tickets, please. Gotta eat.

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Wolfteam? Pat my prosecutorial staff on the head and have them be quiet, won't you? Those who lack basic knowledge of the features of the English language, such as punctuation marks, cannot, I suppose, possess any knowledge of law, which is a really complicated field with lots of words in it.

Give them a cookie or something.