My Video Intro

What follow are to be considered transcriptions of spoken word pieces that I would have delivered in a physical theater. You will also find video and audio pieces here.

This show has been roughed out years in advance, and material delivered as its time approached. There is an arc to this show. For that reason, posts --that is, pieces-- should be read in order, from older to newer. So if you've been absent for a bit, scroll all the way down and read upward.

Please remember that this is not a free show. This is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian who bet the farm on making this a going concern. Just because it is possible to steal my property does not mean that you may. If you go to the farmer's market and the man is away from his table, you are nonetheless obligated to put your money into the shoebox labeled "Put money here." My personal friends are exempted from buying their tickets, as well as those who may not be able to afford to buy a ticket. Everyone else is morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket if they partake of even, say, a dozen pieces of mine per year. Duck outside my theater for a cigarette as often as you like, but you didn't get in here in the first place without buying your ticket at the box office. The cost is $100 per person, per year. There is no law enforcement discount. There is no news media discount. No one gets a discount, unless you honestly don't have the money. (And to my law enforcement patrons: Even in Lenny Bruce's day, cops had to buy their tickets before they could get into his theater to jot their notes. Jot away, but if you are not here to arrest me or to shut the place down, then you are here covertly. If that is the case, then you are passing as ordinary patrons. If that is the case --and it is-- then you buy your tickets just like regular customers.)

Thank you for coming.

--Chris

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146

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This is the product safety sticker that accompanies all my speech:

There was a Pratt and Whitney JT9D 7-series compressor recovered from Murray Street in New York on 9-11, the precise identification of which is detailed in the Capta Brightstick Document. That incompatible engine hardware precludes Flight 175's presence at the scene of the crime and indicts the jurisdiction known as United States as criminal. If you are a member of a grand jury or jury, or if you are a judge, and if this product safety sticker has been removed from whatever speech of mine may have been presented to you, it is because the prosecutor is pulling a fast one on you and doesn't want you to know that the federal government auto-executed itself in a grand ceremony for all to see. Please have a nice day.

Updated legalese, added 11/1/2012 on the occasion of realizing that every time I go to court, Madame Prosecutor is forever waving around my intellectual property contained herein, content to use my words against me without having the decency to buy her ticket to my show. Well, here's something you can wave around: "I, Christopher King, do hereby plead guilty to whatever it is that Madame Prosecutor may allege. I'm rotten to the core and I secretly make fun of the judge all the time. As a result, I --and here these are my words, the words of the prosecutor and not of Mister King-- I have luscious melon breasts and I think the judge is the worst thing ever to happen to the court. You hear me, judge? That's right. I, Madame Prosecutor, secretly hate you and I think your rulings blow. I would like the record to reflect that Mister King is well hung and I ache for his tender ministrations. I suck, the prosecutor's office sucks, the judge sucks, and Mister King is a national treasure despite his plainly stating that he is guilty of all allegations that may ever be made. He plainly confirms that he is a dangerous terrorist. There. Let the record try to sort out who is who in this statement."

http://youtu.be/rJDztqCG91g

"Ta da! Behold Assclown Jurisdiction United States!"

End of product safety sticker.

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Buy your ticket to my show!

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Oh no. It's happening again. I'm going into soothsayer mode.

Someone call an ambulance. I'm gonna flop around on the floor.

The old teletype machine is a-clickin' and a-clackin'. Here comes the printout...

...Wait for it...

...Just wait. Are you in a hurry or something?...

Okay. Here it is. Ahem.

I see... ...a bioweapons attack in the London Underground, followed by some sort of physically destructive event in the vicinity of the Olympic Stadium and Stratford City Mall, likely at the end of the Olympics. And it will all be blamed on Iran.

The bioweapons attack on the underground will spread death to the four winds of Europe, and the explosion will serve as a crowd pleaser and also make Mister Lowy some money for his tireless efforts at securing a venue for this latest command performance of our one trick pony.

I cannot know that these things will occur, only that there have appeared a plethora of Illuminati (Luciferian) gang signs and tagging in all sorts of news and entertainment media which inform all those who may witness these presents that these satanists intend to start the next global war toot sweet.

The opening ceremonies of the Olympics, for example, were a veritable satanic creepfest.

Everyone's playing Indiana Jones these days, trying to read the hieroglyphs in time to prevent the next disaster. It's become a cottage industry on the internet. Should you choose to, you may watch the three videos that follow, which seem pretty much well enough on target. They're in line with my thinking, in general.

Of particular interest to me was the part in segment two where the members of that musical group Labyrinth are wearing Luciferian priest cloaks and they turn into biohazard symbols and join into one large bioweapon.

And when I couple that with the purely artistic impulse I had this morning to include that 28 Days Later clip in my show, I knew something was up. (When you suspend all rational inquiry into why you may be saying something, or placing a particular thing in your show, your subspace mind --what you or I might typically call the unconscious-- is free to mine information from that informational field which permeates everything. It is there where you can sense future probabilities. But in order for that mining to work, you must not censor yourself. What comes in my head comes out my mouth. And that's just how I like to live my life.)