My Video Intro

What follow are to be considered transcriptions of spoken word pieces that I would have delivered in a physical theater. You will also find video and audio pieces here.

This show has been roughed out years in advance, and material delivered as its time approached. There is an arc to this show. For that reason, posts --that is, pieces-- should be read in order, from older to newer. So if you've been absent for a bit, scroll all the way down and read upward.

Please remember that this is not a free show. This is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian who bet the farm on making this a going concern. Just because it is possible to steal my property does not mean that you may. If you go to the farmer's market and the man is away from his table, you are nonetheless obligated to put your money into the shoebox labeled "Put money here." My personal friends are exempted from buying their tickets, as well as those who may not be able to afford to buy a ticket. Everyone else is morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket if they partake of even, say, a dozen pieces of mine per year. Duck outside my theater for a cigarette as often as you like, but you didn't get in here in the first place without buying your ticket at the box office. The cost is $100 per person, per year. There is no law enforcement discount. There is no news media discount. No one gets a discount, unless you honestly don't have the money. (And to my law enforcement patrons: Even in Lenny Bruce's day, cops had to buy their tickets before they could get into his theater to jot their notes. Jot away, but if you are not here to arrest me or to shut the place down, then you are here covertly. If that is the case, then you are passing as ordinary patrons. If that is the case --and it is-- then you buy your tickets just like regular customers.)

Thank you for coming.

--Chris

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146

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This is the product safety sticker that accompanies all my speech:

There was a Pratt and Whitney JT9D 7-series compressor recovered from Murray Street in New York on 9-11, the precise identification of which is detailed in the Capta Brightstick Document. That incompatible engine hardware precludes Flight 175's presence at the scene of the crime and indicts the jurisdiction known as United States as criminal. If you are a member of a grand jury or jury, or if you are a judge, and if this product safety sticker has been removed from whatever speech of mine may have been presented to you, it is because the prosecutor is pulling a fast one on you and doesn't want you to know that the federal government auto-executed itself in a grand ceremony for all to see. Please have a nice day.

Updated legalese, added 11/1/2012 on the occasion of realizing that every time I go to court, Madame Prosecutor is forever waving around my intellectual property contained herein, content to use my words against me without having the decency to buy her ticket to my show. Well, here's something you can wave around: "I, Christopher King, do hereby plead guilty to whatever it is that Madame Prosecutor may allege. I'm rotten to the core and I secretly make fun of the judge all the time. As a result, I --and here these are my words, the words of the prosecutor and not of Mister King-- I have luscious melon breasts and I think the judge is the worst thing ever to happen to the court. You hear me, judge? That's right. I, Madame Prosecutor, secretly hate you and I think your rulings blow. I would like the record to reflect that Mister King is well hung and I ache for his tender ministrations. I suck, the prosecutor's office sucks, the judge sucks, and Mister King is a national treasure despite his plainly stating that he is guilty of all allegations that may ever be made. He plainly confirms that he is a dangerous terrorist. There. Let the record try to sort out who is who in this statement."

http://youtu.be/rJDztqCG91g

"Ta da! Behold Assclown Jurisdiction United States!"

End of product safety sticker.

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Buy your ticket to my show!

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Oh no. Something's happening. I'm going into soothsayer mode.

That's when I flop around on the floor and roll my eyes back into my head and see visions.

In this state, I gain extraordinary powers of seeing past the (ample) nose on my own face, powers which, in this age of idiocy, verily amount to clairvoyance. I see a terriss attack on Airstrip One.

*LONDON — As the 2012 London Olympics approach, heralded by stories of busloads of athletes getting lost and a shortfall in security personnel that required the deployment of 3,500 soldiers, the head of the global company that is providing security staff acknowledged on Tuesday a "humiliating shambles."
...
In addition, officers from eight regional police forces have been drafted to take over security procedures supposed to be handled by G4S following the failure of the private company’s personnel to report for duty. 
“It’s chaos, absolute chaos,” said Ian Edwards, a representative of a police professional association in the West Midlands, where 150 officers have been sent to provide security at a hotel where Olympic soccer players are staying.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/18/sports/olympics/british-parliament-investigates-olympics-chaos.html?_r=1&hp

Terror suspects on the Home Office watch list are entering the UK in the runup to the Olympics without the necessary security checks, according to frontline officials at Heathrow.
...
The official said he was personally aware that three terror suspects – all of whose names are registered on the Home Office suspect index system – had been waved through by staff on his shifts since the start of July. Border officials should immediately notify counterterrorism police or MI5 if they suspect that "SX travellers" are attempting to enter the UK. Another colleague alleged that five suspects were "missed" in one day earlier this month.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jul/14/heathrow-checks-miss-terror-suspects

It's all going to be a big Whoopsie Daisy, as in, "Whoopsie Daisy! The terriss got in and they exploded a bomb at the Olympics and that's why we had to further curtail your natural rights --which, like all forms of property, have monetary value-- and thus did we transfer your property to our banker masters who don't like it when other people have property. Now you are further enslaved, but don't worry; it's to protect you from the terriss."

I cannot know if there will be a terriss attack at the Olympics, but all the pieces are in place for British intelligence operatives in Al Qaeda to flood the country and run around and wave scimitars in front of security cameras. (Al Qaeda is a known CIA and Mossad front operation, the CIA and Mossad truly being wholly owned subsidiaries of British intelligence, all serving the British Crown, which is a division of the privately owned Bank of England, a Rothschild enterprise.)

As Condoleezza Rice would have exhorted us, let us connect the dots. They all lead to an attack on Iran.

What I do know is that the Bank of England needs its private property, the United States Government, to launch an attack on Iran, the subduing of which will forestall the collapse of the petrodollar as the world's reserve currency. Iran is about to start selling their oil outside the petrodollar market. When that occurs, the world will no longer need the garbage currency known as the US Dollar.  And since no one will need your garbage currency, the value of it will begin its long decline until such time as a wheelbarrow full of it will not buy a single pair of Chinese-made underpants.

The speedy movement of known terrorism suspects through British airport security reminds me of our very own Underwear Bomber, Farouk Abdulmutallab. You may recall that he was waved around security and escorted onto the flight by an intelligence agent.

It later emerged that the State Department was ordered not to revoke Abdulmutallab’s visa by “federal counterterrorism officials” even though the accused bomber had known terrorist ties, in addition to the fact that his own father had warned U.S. intelligence officials of the threat posed by Abdulmutallab a month before the attempted attack.
Appearing on the Alex Jones Show earlier this week, Haskell said he thought Abdulmutallab was being “coached” on how to behave, which would explain his court outbursts that Haskell maintained were completely out of character.
Having decided to plead not guilty, act as his own defense, and call as a witness the one man who could identify the intelligence agents who used him as a dupe to carry out the attack, Abdulmutallab’s sudden change of heart clearly suggests that he has been threatened or offered a deal so as to protect the true culprits behind the plot.
Abdulmutallab’s change of mind also serves to protect the myth behind his handler, Anwar al-Awlaki, who as we have documented was clearly a double agent posing as an Al-Qaeda leader while doing the bidding of the US intelligence community.
Abdulmutallab’s admission of guilt will now be hastily exploited by the Obama administration to push its fearmongering agenda to turn America into a Stasi-style police state, with the Department of Homeland Security’s “See Something, Say Something” campaign, training citizens to report each other as terrorists, now in full swing across the country.
The guilty plea also ensures that the sanctity of the TSA’s grope down procedures and the multi-billion dollar naked body scanner industry, launched on the back of the foiled plot by government-affiliated insiders now reaping the financial whirlwind, will escape scrutiny.

http://www.prisonplanet.com/underwear-bomber-guilty-plea-shields-government-complicity.html

And thus are we led back to the Devil's Son, Michael Chertoff, who reaped a financial windfall from those body scanners, the installation of which was wholly predicated upon the dangers posed by terriss like Abdulmutallab.
It turns out that when former Homeland Security director Michael “The Skull” Chertoff, left his government position, he formed a “security consulting” business and signed on to “consult” for companies that make full-body scanners. The day after the underwear bomber fiasco, Chertoff went on as many TV programs as he could (as “former Homeland Security director”) and began touting the full-body scanners as the one, true answer to the terrorism problem. He even wrote a column for the Washington Post in which he said that people who opposed the porno scanners were “privacy ideologues.” I love that phrase: “privacy ideologues,” although I imagine that when airline passenger John Tyner told the TSA agent not to touch his junk, his concerns were more visceral than ideological.

http://clclt.com/theclog/archives/2010/11/22/former-dhs-head-michael-chertoff-paid-to-push-porno-scanners

Do you see how the con works? Chertoff's job is to transfer your property (your natural rights, in this case the natural right to travel) to his banker masters who don't like it when people have private property. In exchange for his service, Chertoff gets to fulfill his highest aspiration in this world, which is to make some money. And then he and Larry Silverstein can get together for a big party and celebrate their larcenous endeavors, which is a surprise because I had esteemed them higher than that, but whatever. Everything's a disappointment in this world, apparently.

(Incidentally, once you understand that the past decade essentially has been one big effort to steal your natural rights by way of the Terrism Gravy Train, you can see that I am morally obligated to exercise and defend my natural rights, including my natural right to travel, the very one which Chertoff has so assiduously worked to steal from me. I am adamant about exercising my natural right to travel for precisely this reason, not because I am some kind of scofflaw. It is why I routinely "drive" without a driver's license, though to be fair to my legal position, I am not a driver, I do not drive, I am not an operator, and my car is not a motor vehicle. Those are all legal words of art whose specific definitions I defy anyone to demonstrate that I trigger. I conduct my personal conveyance along the public thoroughfares in the enjoyment of my natural right to travel, the exercise of which cannot be converted into a crime, the ill-informed statutes of various jurisdictions notwithstanding.)

So anyway, I cannot predict that a terra attack will occur on Airstrip One during the Olympics. I can only begin to calculate the likelihood of it. It seems likely. There are so many good things that would come from just such an attack, and it appears that the security gates have been left wide open on purpose, not because of a big Whoopsie Daisy.

I will also note that pointing the finger and raising the alarm about an impending terriss attack of intelligence provenance reduces the likelihood that it will occur. It is as if a group of a thousand people were to gather across the street from the Twin Towers on the morning of September 11th and someone were to say, "Hey, what are you guys waiting for?" And the crowd replies, "Oh, we're waiting for Rabbi Zakheim's lend-lease tanker drones with 7-series engines to fly into these buildings. It'll be a real crowd pleaser."

You can see that such a false flag attack would have to be called off. And that is why I like to go into soothsayer mode now and again.