My Video Intro

What follow are to be considered transcriptions of spoken word pieces that I would have delivered in a physical theater. You will also find video and audio pieces here.

This show has been roughed out years in advance, and material delivered as its time approached. There is an arc to this show. For that reason, posts --that is, pieces-- should be read in order, from older to newer. So if you've been absent for a bit, scroll all the way down and read upward.

Please remember that this is not a free show. This is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian who bet the farm on making this a going concern. Just because it is possible to steal my property does not mean that you may. If you go to the farmer's market and the man is away from his table, you are nonetheless obligated to put your money into the shoebox labeled "Put money here." My personal friends are exempted from buying their tickets, as well as those who may not be able to afford to buy a ticket. Everyone else is morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket if they partake of even, say, a dozen pieces of mine per year. Duck outside my theater for a cigarette as often as you like, but you didn't get in here in the first place without buying your ticket at the box office. The cost is $100 per person, per year. There is no law enforcement discount. There is no news media discount. No one gets a discount, unless you honestly don't have the money. (And to my law enforcement patrons: Even in Lenny Bruce's day, cops had to buy their tickets before they could get into his theater to jot their notes. Jot away, but if you are not here to arrest me or to shut the place down, then you are here covertly. If that is the case, then you are passing as ordinary patrons. If that is the case --and it is-- then you buy your tickets just like regular customers.)

Thank you for coming.

--Chris

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146

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This is the product safety sticker that accompanies all my speech:

There was a Pratt and Whitney JT9D 7-series compressor recovered from Murray Street in New York on 9-11, the precise identification of which is detailed in the Capta Brightstick Document. That incompatible engine hardware precludes Flight 175's presence at the scene of the crime and indicts the jurisdiction known as United States as criminal. If you are a member of a grand jury or jury, or if you are a judge, and if this product safety sticker has been removed from whatever speech of mine may have been presented to you, it is because the prosecutor is pulling a fast one on you and doesn't want you to know that the federal government auto-executed itself in a grand ceremony for all to see. Please have a nice day.

Updated legalese, added 11/1/2012 on the occasion of realizing that every time I go to court, Madame Prosecutor is forever waving around my intellectual property contained herein, content to use my words against me without having the decency to buy her ticket to my show. Well, here's something you can wave around: "I, Christopher King, do hereby plead guilty to whatever it is that Madame Prosecutor may allege. I'm rotten to the core and I secretly make fun of the judge all the time. As a result, I --and here these are my words, the words of the prosecutor and not of Mister King-- I have luscious melon breasts and I think the judge is the worst thing ever to happen to the court. You hear me, judge? That's right. I, Madame Prosecutor, secretly hate you and I think your rulings blow. I would like the record to reflect that Mister King is well hung and I ache for his tender ministrations. I suck, the prosecutor's office sucks, the judge sucks, and Mister King is a national treasure despite his plainly stating that he is guilty of all allegations that may ever be made. He plainly confirms that he is a dangerous terrorist. There. Let the record try to sort out who is who in this statement."

http://youtu.be/rJDztqCG91g

"Ta da! Behold Assclown Jurisdiction United States!"

End of product safety sticker.

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Buy your ticket to my show!

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Can someone verify this, please?

Robert Holmes is known throughout the global banking community as the creator of one of the most sophisticated computer algorithms ever developed. He developed predictive models for financial credit and fraud risks and internet/online banking fraud models.

Educated at the University of California, Berkeley and Stanford University, Robert Holmes is currently the senior lead scientist with the American credit score company FICO. Every American citizen is beholden to FICO if they need to borrow money.

The massive banking fraud crime that the US Senate is investigating is called theLIBOR Scandal . It involves UK banks who illegally fixed borrowing rates with the compliance of the Bank of England, the US Federal Reserve (which knew about this crime for 4 years and didn’t report it) and other major Western banks.

Robert Holmes, the shooting suspect's father, not only uncovered the true intent of this massive fraud, but has also traced the "hidden" trillions of dollars to the exact bank accounts of the elite classes who have stolen it. In other words, Robert Holmes could NAME NAMES! Those names WOULD AWAKEN THE WORLD to the depth of government and corporate corruption which could include members of Congress, Wall Street, Federal Reserve and EU executives and could even include US Presidential candidates and the British Royal family.

What kind of a "shut up" deal has been worked out with Robert Holmes to save his son from the death penalty?

Here is the link:http://www.helpfreetheearth.com/news616_batmanwhy.html


If this turns out to be true, then it's like Six Degrees from Kevin Bacon Except There's Not Even Any Degrees or Anything. But that would be a conspiracy, so let's just go back to Dancing with the Stars, where everything is as the judges say it is.

Let's recap:

The Killer Clown from the Neuroscience Fast Track is alleged to have shot up the place because, um, no one knows why.
 
He had all sorts of fancy SWAT gear from who knows where. 

Witnesses report smoke grenades coming from another direction. 

Witnesses report either 1) Holmes receiving a phone call and then exiting the fire exit to return in his SWAT gear, or 2) an unidentified man receiving a phone call and then opening the fire exit to allow Holmes to enter in his SWAT gear.
 
Holmes is fingered by an "eagle eyed" cop who happened to notice some minor discrepancy with his SWAT gear. 

Holmes surrenders without incident, which seems strange considering that he was wearing all sorts of defensive armor. 

Holmes helpfully tells the police that his house is booby trapped, which seems strange considering that the point of booby trapping a place is to kill people. 

Holmes helpfully had sent some notebook full of incriminating stick figure drawings to his psychiatrist.

Holmes' psychiatrist just happens to be some top Air Force psychiatrist. 

Holmes sits expressionless in his arraignment hearing and can't seem to keep his eyes open, obviously doped up. 

Holmes reportedly keeps asking while in jail, "Why am I here?" [Editor's Note: Most guys in jail can't help but to brag about their exploits. And the bigger the better. I know this from personal experience. They don't say "Why am I here?"] 

And, finally, it is rumored that his father was in possession of damning evidence regarding the LIBOR scandal, which would involve the very same bankers who own the CIA and the CIA's mind control patsy program, MK-ULTRA.

Oh, I almost forgot the final thing: Do you remember those foreign bankers who annihilated your nation on 9-11 with Rabbi Zakheim's drones? Yeah, they need to disarm you or else you gain control of your own government again, in which case these bankers go to prison for life. That's what the UN small arms treaty is all about, not the children or the terriss or whatever.

Like I said, this is total mind control.