My Video Intro

What follow are to be considered transcriptions of spoken word pieces that I would have delivered in a physical theater. You will also find video and audio pieces here.

This show has been roughed out years in advance, and material delivered as its time approached. There is an arc to this show. For that reason, posts --that is, pieces-- should be read in order, from older to newer. So if you've been absent for a bit, scroll all the way down and read upward.

Please remember that this is not a free show. This is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian who bet the farm on making this a going concern. Just because it is possible to steal my property does not mean that you may. If you go to the farmer's market and the man is away from his table, you are nonetheless obligated to put your money into the shoebox labeled "Put money here." My personal friends are exempted from buying their tickets, as well as those who may not be able to afford to buy a ticket. Everyone else is morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket if they partake of even, say, a dozen pieces of mine per year. Duck outside my theater for a cigarette as often as you like, but you didn't get in here in the first place without buying your ticket at the box office. The cost is $100 per person, per year. There is no law enforcement discount. There is no news media discount. No one gets a discount, unless you honestly don't have the money. (And to my law enforcement patrons: Even in Lenny Bruce's day, cops had to buy their tickets before they could get into his theater to jot their notes. Jot away, but if you are not here to arrest me or to shut the place down, then you are here covertly. If that is the case, then you are passing as ordinary patrons. If that is the case --and it is-- then you buy your tickets just like regular customers.)

Thank you for coming.

--Chris

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146

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This is the product safety sticker that accompanies all my speech:

There was a Pratt and Whitney JT9D 7-series compressor recovered from Murray Street in New York on 9-11, the precise identification of which is detailed in the Capta Brightstick Document. That incompatible engine hardware precludes Flight 175's presence at the scene of the crime and indicts the jurisdiction known as United States as criminal. If you are a member of a grand jury or jury, or if you are a judge, and if this product safety sticker has been removed from whatever speech of mine may have been presented to you, it is because the prosecutor is pulling a fast one on you and doesn't want you to know that the federal government auto-executed itself in a grand ceremony for all to see. Please have a nice day.

Updated legalese, added 11/1/2012 on the occasion of realizing that every time I go to court, Madame Prosecutor is forever waving around my intellectual property contained herein, content to use my words against me without having the decency to buy her ticket to my show. Well, here's something you can wave around: "I, Christopher King, do hereby plead guilty to whatever it is that Madame Prosecutor may allege. I'm rotten to the core and I secretly make fun of the judge all the time. As a result, I --and here these are my words, the words of the prosecutor and not of Mister King-- I have luscious melon breasts and I think the judge is the worst thing ever to happen to the court. You hear me, judge? That's right. I, Madame Prosecutor, secretly hate you and I think your rulings blow. I would like the record to reflect that Mister King is well hung and I ache for his tender ministrations. I suck, the prosecutor's office sucks, the judge sucks, and Mister King is a national treasure despite his plainly stating that he is guilty of all allegations that may ever be made. He plainly confirms that he is a dangerous terrorist. There. Let the record try to sort out who is who in this statement."

http://youtu.be/rJDztqCG91g

"Ta da! Behold Assclown Jurisdiction United States!"

End of product safety sticker.

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Buy your ticket to my show!

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Wolfteam.

You see the utility in rigging United States up for controlled demolition. It is the leverage that we will use to restore lawful government. The jurisdiction will heel or it will be euthenized. The power to save a thing is the power to destroy it. What'll it be?

Step two in this process of restoration involves matters of legality. In my total ignorance, I sometimes piercingly see the truth. What is 'legal'? Plain and simple, legal is that which does not call forth guys with guns to arrest you. Illegal is that which does call forth guys with guns to arrest you.

What has occurred over the past number of decades is that this criminal cartel has --by various pretexts, whether they be represented to protect us from the bad men, or terriss, or space aliens-- caused to be signed various pieces of paper that cause guys with guns to stand down. Certain criminal behaviors, such as torture, warrantless wiretapping, flying drones into buildings, etc., have been made legal --that is, there now exists no mechanism within the United States legal system to call forth guys with guns to perform arrests of these criminals.

The sole object of a statute is to call forth guys with guns. Within the United States legal system, there simply is no means of calling forth guys with guns. The criminals thought they had successfully gamed the legal system.

Ah, just one problem: They forgot about a lesser known jurisdiction, the People, and their constabulary, the unorganized militia. Let us call this constabulary the Fundamental Constabulary --which it is. Its job is to enforce fundamental law.

It is true that United States guys with guns --most of whom want to see justice done and these criminals brought to justice, though there is no legal means of doing so within United States-- likely legally cannot be empowered by United States to make arrests. The criminals have jammed the legal system with the appropriate safeguards. It is not, however, true that agents within Fundamental Constabulary cannot be called forth to make those same arrests.

Being a foreign jurisdiction with its own legal system, the People simply don't care what may or may not be legal at United States. They are the legal limitations of a foreign jurisdiction.

What I recommend is that you rig the legal system to stand down United States guys with guns when Fundamental Constabulary performs its arrests. That is, you will find some means of making legal the operations of Fundamental Constabulary. United States guys with guns, who, again, want to see justice done, will be perfectly happy to point to a piece of paper that shows that they may just sit there peacefully when arrests are performed by Fundamental Constabulary.

To jam the legal system into inaction is precisely the same thing as making a behavior legal. Do you see? There's more than one way to skin a cat.

If United States cannot make legal the arrests of certain United States officeholders --which I highly doubt it can, at least in time-- then it is at least possible to jam the legal system to prevent the calling forth of United States guys with guns when Fundamental Constabulary makes its arrests.

It's something new. 'New' is something I specialize in.

Further, all United States guys with guns are, by default, also members of the People, and, by extension, members of Fundamental Constabulary. It is my preference that certain United States guys with guns act as the arresting force of Fundamental Constabulary. They're already vetted. They've already got their clearances. We don't need rubes bumbling onto the scene in their goofy camo outfits. I want pure professionals.

So what you do is you jam the legal system into, effectively, recognizing the lawfulness of Fundamental Constabulary. Then you jam the legal system into recognizing those certain United States guys with guns as members of Fundamental Constabulary.

By this method do you make illegal that which had previously been legal, behaviors of criminals who had previously jammed the legal system to prevent the calling forth of United States guys with guns to arrest them. Do you see?

Essentially, you will be assigning a cadre of fully vetted, professional asskickers over at United States to a foreign, yet related, constabulary with full legal authority to operate within the territorial jurisdiction of the United States.

Ta da!

Run with it. More later.