My Video Intro

What follow are to be considered transcriptions of spoken word pieces that I would have delivered in a physical theater. You will also find video and audio pieces here.

This show has been roughed out years in advance, and material delivered as its time approached. There is an arc to this show. For that reason, posts --that is, pieces-- should be read in order, from older to newer. So if you've been absent for a bit, scroll all the way down and read upward.

Please remember that this is not a free show. This is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian who bet the farm on making this a going concern. Just because it is possible to steal my property does not mean that you may. If you go to the farmer's market and the man is away from his table, you are nonetheless obligated to put your money into the shoebox labeled "Put money here." My personal friends are exempted from buying their tickets, as well as those who may not be able to afford to buy a ticket. Everyone else is morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket if they partake of even, say, a dozen pieces of mine per year. Duck outside my theater for a cigarette as often as you like, but you didn't get in here in the first place without buying your ticket at the box office. The cost is $100 per person, per year. There is no law enforcement discount. There is no news media discount. No one gets a discount, unless you honestly don't have the money. (And to my law enforcement patrons: Even in Lenny Bruce's day, cops had to buy their tickets before they could get into his theater to jot their notes. Jot away, but if you are not here to arrest me or to shut the place down, then you are here covertly. If that is the case, then you are passing as ordinary patrons. If that is the case --and it is-- then you buy your tickets just like regular customers.)

Thank you for coming.

--Chris

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146

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This is the product safety sticker that accompanies all my speech:

There was a Pratt and Whitney JT9D 7-series compressor recovered from Murray Street in New York on 9-11, the precise identification of which is detailed in the Capta Brightstick Document. That incompatible engine hardware precludes Flight 175's presence at the scene of the crime and indicts the jurisdiction known as United States as criminal. If you are a member of a grand jury or jury, or if you are a judge, and if this product safety sticker has been removed from whatever speech of mine may have been presented to you, it is because the prosecutor is pulling a fast one on you and doesn't want you to know that the federal government auto-executed itself in a grand ceremony for all to see. Please have a nice day.

Updated legalese, added 11/1/2012 on the occasion of realizing that every time I go to court, Madame Prosecutor is forever waving around my intellectual property contained herein, content to use my words against me without having the decency to buy her ticket to my show. Well, here's something you can wave around: "I, Christopher King, do hereby plead guilty to whatever it is that Madame Prosecutor may allege. I'm rotten to the core and I secretly make fun of the judge all the time. As a result, I --and here these are my words, the words of the prosecutor and not of Mister King-- I have luscious melon breasts and I think the judge is the worst thing ever to happen to the court. You hear me, judge? That's right. I, Madame Prosecutor, secretly hate you and I think your rulings blow. I would like the record to reflect that Mister King is well hung and I ache for his tender ministrations. I suck, the prosecutor's office sucks, the judge sucks, and Mister King is a national treasure despite his plainly stating that he is guilty of all allegations that may ever be made. He plainly confirms that he is a dangerous terrorist. There. Let the record try to sort out who is who in this statement."

http://youtu.be/rJDztqCG91g

"Ta da! Behold Assclown Jurisdiction United States!"

End of product safety sticker.

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Buy your ticket to my show!

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Lazily Tossed-Off Prediction No. 538

OAKLAND, Calif. — One wounded woman cowered in the bushes after the gunman opened fire on the campus of a small Christian university. One student hid in a locked classroom as the shooter banged on the door. Another heard the shots and ran to safety.
All within an hour Monday, police said, a 43-year-old former student named One L. Goh walked into Oikos University, and began a rampage that left seven people dead and three people wounded, trapped some in the building and forced others to flee for their lives.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/police-7-dead-3-injured-in-shooting-attack-at-calif-christian-university-suspect-detained/2012/04/02/gIQAAdDprS_story.html

Lemme guess: He was on selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors and he was under the care of a CIA-affiliated psychiatrist.

SSRI's like Prozac and Welbutrin and all the rest are not anti-depressants. They do not lift the spirits. They do not solve problems. They deaden psychic pain by placing the brain into a dream state. In such states, the person in question becomes extremely suggestible.

Without even researching Mister Goh's background I will guess that he was a mind-controlled assassin, straight out of the CIA's never-dismantled MK Ultra program of the seventies.

When I see the system exploiting this Trayvon Martin shooting for the purpose of demonizing guns, and when I hear Joe Biden saying that there's going to be a gun control push soon, and when I see emails among executive branch employees suggesting that they use this Fast and Furious guns-for-coke operation as a false-flag attack against the Second Amendment, I can see past the nose on my own face and predict that the CIA will deploy their mind-controlled assets to shoot up the place.

Mind control is a reality. The CIA's been doing it for decades. No one disputes that. (If you do, you need to enroll in the prerequisites for this course and then come back when you have some idea what you're talking about.)

Your nation has been 90% conquered. But there remains the one little problem of a lawful constabulary by the name of the unorganized militia. Their job is enforce fundamental law. The US Constitution is the people's law. By definition, a law is enforceable only by those who spoke it --the jurisdiction in question. The body of the people are a jurisdiction and they possess their own constabulary. No (competent) lawyer disputes that. Fictions created by that law, such as the United States Government, may choose to adhere to that law, and may have courts for determining its lawful behavior, but they are not enforcing that law. It is theoretically impossible for a fiction created by a law to enforce its own vivifying document. That law enforcement responsibility lies with those who spoke the law --the people.

All law is enforced at the barrel of a gun. This is axiomatic, else why do states employ them? Therefore, the speakers of that fundamental law must retain the means of enforcing it. The people shall never be divested of their guns. End of discussion.

Criminals do not like seeing laws enforced --unless it's their own laws.

The bankers who annihilated your nation have a constabulary comprised of all United States law enforcement agencies and, in particular, the unlawful Department of Homeland Security. DHS recently put out a bid for 450 million rounds of hollow-point ammo. (Are they expecting a war or something? And even more laughably, do they expect to win?)

Merely with the passage of time will these found-out criminals be brought before tribunals. Therefore, those criminals must neutralize any constabulary which may bring them to justice. That constabulary is the one derived from the people themselves, the unorganized militia.

Therefore, that criminal cartel which (very nearly) conquered your nation must disarm that competing constabulary. That is why we see the "news" media talking up the idea that maybe we should have stricter gun control laws. (It's very cute, by the way, when newspapers act like they're part of any relevant conversation. What is this, 1975? Nowadays they're like children piping up about poopies and recess while the adults on the internet are speaking.)

Knowing that a renewed push for gun control will be launched, and since I know that the CIA is an element of that criminal cartel that attempted to conquer the nation on behalf of foreign bankers, I can safely predict that the CIA will roll out some of their programmed killers to shoot up the place. Ta da! Now we have a reason to ban guns, right on schedule. See how the con works around here?

So if Mister Goh is not a programmed killer, there most certainly will be some in the near future.

That criminal cartel will find, by the way, that attempting to confiscate guns at this late hour will not work. The criminals in Washington are already found out. They will be brought to justice. It's a done deal. Any such gun confiscation will appear plainly as an attempt to disarm the people's constabulary and will serve as a red line, the line in the sand, the crossing of which will cause the people to terminate that jurisdiction in under twenty-four hours.

You don't take on a constabulary of a hundred million members and win. It is nigh theoretically impossible.

If you permit that constabulary to continue in its methodical business of removing select criminals, the jurisdiction survives --to the benefit of all. But if the attempt is made to thwart that action, the people will simply wipe the jurisdiction and start over.