My Video Intro

What follow are to be considered transcriptions of spoken word pieces that I would have delivered in a physical theater. You will also find video and audio pieces here.

This show has been roughed out years in advance, and material delivered as its time approached. There is an arc to this show. For that reason, posts --that is, pieces-- should be read in order, from older to newer. So if you've been absent for a bit, scroll all the way down and read upward.

Please remember that this is not a free show. This is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian who bet the farm on making this a going concern. Just because it is possible to steal my property does not mean that you may. If you go to the farmer's market and the man is away from his table, you are nonetheless obligated to put your money into the shoebox labeled "Put money here." My personal friends are exempted from buying their tickets, as well as those who may not be able to afford to buy a ticket. Everyone else is morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket if they partake of even, say, a dozen pieces of mine per year. Duck outside my theater for a cigarette as often as you like, but you didn't get in here in the first place without buying your ticket at the box office. The cost is $100 per person, per year. There is no law enforcement discount. There is no news media discount. No one gets a discount, unless you honestly don't have the money. (And to my law enforcement patrons: Even in Lenny Bruce's day, cops had to buy their tickets before they could get into his theater to jot their notes. Jot away, but if you are not here to arrest me or to shut the place down, then you are here covertly. If that is the case, then you are passing as ordinary patrons. If that is the case --and it is-- then you buy your tickets just like regular customers.)

Thank you for coming.

--Chris

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146

-------------------------

This is the product safety sticker that accompanies all my speech:

There was a Pratt and Whitney JT9D 7-series compressor recovered from Murray Street in New York on 9-11, the precise identification of which is detailed in the Capta Brightstick Document. That incompatible engine hardware precludes Flight 175's presence at the scene of the crime and indicts the jurisdiction known as United States as criminal. If you are a member of a grand jury or jury, or if you are a judge, and if this product safety sticker has been removed from whatever speech of mine may have been presented to you, it is because the prosecutor is pulling a fast one on you and doesn't want you to know that the federal government auto-executed itself in a grand ceremony for all to see. Please have a nice day.

Updated legalese, added 11/1/2012 on the occasion of realizing that every time I go to court, Madame Prosecutor is forever waving around my intellectual property contained herein, content to use my words against me without having the decency to buy her ticket to my show. Well, here's something you can wave around: "I, Christopher King, do hereby plead guilty to whatever it is that Madame Prosecutor may allege. I'm rotten to the core and I secretly make fun of the judge all the time. As a result, I --and here these are my words, the words of the prosecutor and not of Mister King-- I have luscious melon breasts and I think the judge is the worst thing ever to happen to the court. You hear me, judge? That's right. I, Madame Prosecutor, secretly hate you and I think your rulings blow. I would like the record to reflect that Mister King is well hung and I ache for his tender ministrations. I suck, the prosecutor's office sucks, the judge sucks, and Mister King is a national treasure despite his plainly stating that he is guilty of all allegations that may ever be made. He plainly confirms that he is a dangerous terrorist. There. Let the record try to sort out who is who in this statement."

http://youtu.be/rJDztqCG91g

"Ta da! Behold Assclown Jurisdiction United States!"

End of product safety sticker.

------------------------------------------

Buy your ticket to my show!

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146.

Friday, March 9, 2012

There is a battery powered clock on the wall in my bedroom.

I had somehow managed to sleep in that room for months without really noticing the ticking of it. I finally realized at about midnight last night that it is quite loud. I sat upright in bed and cocked my head and stared in disbelief at the outrage that it unashamedly is.

Chik...chik...chik...chik.

"Does that clock really need to be that loud?" I said that to myself or whoever, my imaginary bed partner that I have inside my mind. "This is the year 2012. We don't have inertial dampening technology or something that can make for a quieter clock?"

Sometimes we don't quite notice things that are ever present.

...like rank criminality.
Defense Secretary Leon Panetta admitted to Senator Jeff Sessions that Congress is dust and trash, and that the decision to take the U.S. military to war rests in the hands of unelected international bureaucrats in the United Nations, NATO, and other international organizations.
Basically, Panetta said that he answers to the despotic criminals who are behind the creation of a global dictatorship, not the American people.
This is high treason. This is a global coup d’etat by the international private banksters who created the United Nations based on a series of lies and two fraudulent and unnecessary world wars. Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, President Barack Obama, and top Pentagon Generals are their agents. They are traitors and state terrorists.
The Pentagon, White House, CIA, and Homeland Security are not loyal to the American people and the U.S. Constitution, but to the criminal global banking cartel. They control a shadow government inside the official American government, which means the Congress is dead weight. Their silence regarding the 9/11 false flag event is proof that they are in the process of killing America, its traditions, its people, and its laws.

http://www.prisonplanet.com/the-cats-out-of-the-bag-obama-administration-and-shadow-government-admit-congress-doesnt-matter.html

Those two men flatly stated to Senator Sessions that they do not derive their authority to act from Congress and, by extension, from the people's law that created that jurisdiction, the United States Constitution.

Those two men flatly stated that they do not work for Americans.

I cannot conceive of a more clear-cut instance of high treason.

The word 'treason' gets bandied about all the time, especially by know-nothings on TV. Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly come to mind. According to them, if you question whatever boneswinging military adventure is up next in the pipeline you're guilty of treason.

Not really. Treason is narrowly defined as actively working to dismantle the mutual defense association. It is leaving the city gate ajar so the hordes can pour in. It is using your law degree to make legal that which is manifestly unlawful.

Treason is working on behalf of foreign jurisdictions, such as NATO or the United Nations, which those men plainly confessed to doing.

How did I solve the problem of the ticking of that clock once I realized that it was more trouble than it was worth? That there are any number of time keeping devices I could use, ones that don't stink up the place and disturb the peace?

I pulled the battery. See? Problem solved.

I demand that those men be immediately arrested and removed from office, and that the useless Pentagon receive an immediate 25% reduction in budget. They obviously need a training stand-down in just who issues the orders around here.

Either we follow the law or we do not. Does United States exist or not? Which is it? I've been trying to find out for seven years, and as it stands right now, I'd have to conclude no.

Is that it, then? I'm the last to figure out that we've moved on, that we're all off creating new jurisdictions and making up new rules as we go along?