My Video Intro

What follow are to be considered transcriptions of spoken word pieces that I would have delivered in a physical theater. You will also find video and audio pieces here.

This show has been roughed out years in advance, and material delivered as its time approached. There is an arc to this show. For that reason, posts --that is, pieces-- should be read in order, from older to newer. So if you've been absent for a bit, scroll all the way down and read upward.

Please remember that this is not a free show. This is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian who bet the farm on making this a going concern. Just because it is possible to steal my property does not mean that you may. If you go to the farmer's market and the man is away from his table, you are nonetheless obligated to put your money into the shoebox labeled "Put money here." My personal friends are exempted from buying their tickets, as well as those who may not be able to afford to buy a ticket. Everyone else is morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket if they partake of even, say, a dozen pieces of mine per year. Duck outside my theater for a cigarette as often as you like, but you didn't get in here in the first place without buying your ticket at the box office. The cost is $100 per person, per year. There is no law enforcement discount. There is no news media discount. No one gets a discount, unless you honestly don't have the money. (And to my law enforcement patrons: Even in Lenny Bruce's day, cops had to buy their tickets before they could get into his theater to jot their notes. Jot away, but if you are not here to arrest me or to shut the place down, then you are here covertly. If that is the case, then you are passing as ordinary patrons. If that is the case --and it is-- then you buy your tickets just like regular customers.)

Thank you for coming.

--Chris

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146

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This is the product safety sticker that accompanies all my speech:

There was a Pratt and Whitney JT9D 7-series compressor recovered from Murray Street in New York on 9-11, the precise identification of which is detailed in the Capta Brightstick Document. That incompatible engine hardware precludes Flight 175's presence at the scene of the crime and indicts the jurisdiction known as United States as criminal. If you are a member of a grand jury or jury, or if you are a judge, and if this product safety sticker has been removed from whatever speech of mine may have been presented to you, it is because the prosecutor is pulling a fast one on you and doesn't want you to know that the federal government auto-executed itself in a grand ceremony for all to see. Please have a nice day.

Updated legalese, added 11/1/2012 on the occasion of realizing that every time I go to court, Madame Prosecutor is forever waving around my intellectual property contained herein, content to use my words against me without having the decency to buy her ticket to my show. Well, here's something you can wave around: "I, Christopher King, do hereby plead guilty to whatever it is that Madame Prosecutor may allege. I'm rotten to the core and I secretly make fun of the judge all the time. As a result, I --and here these are my words, the words of the prosecutor and not of Mister King-- I have luscious melon breasts and I think the judge is the worst thing ever to happen to the court. You hear me, judge? That's right. I, Madame Prosecutor, secretly hate you and I think your rulings blow. I would like the record to reflect that Mister King is well hung and I ache for his tender ministrations. I suck, the prosecutor's office sucks, the judge sucks, and Mister King is a national treasure despite his plainly stating that he is guilty of all allegations that may ever be made. He plainly confirms that he is a dangerous terrorist. There. Let the record try to sort out who is who in this statement."

http://youtu.be/rJDztqCG91g

"Ta da! Behold Assclown Jurisdiction United States!"

End of product safety sticker.

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Buy your ticket to my show!

Bitcoin Address: 1KtMQ32BoHqBAx4GFjLR1gLrBBp1BSnQs6

Or mail $100 to Chris King, Grafton, Vermont 05146.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

It's because their reality is shutting down.

I've been saying this since 2004, that people are beginning to lose it now that this consensus reality is being unmasked as fraudulent. Essentially, when the image on the holodeck walls begins to wink out, those who had spent their entire lives inside the holodeck become untethered from any reality.
What do you do when an entire nation begins to lose the capacity to think rationally? Many Americans spend a great deal of time criticizing the government, and there is certainly a lot to complain about, but it is not just the government that is the problem. All over America, people appear to be going insane. It is almost as if we have been cursed with stupidity. Sadly, this applies from the very top of our society all the way down to the very bottom. A lot of us find ourselves asking the following question much more frequently these days: “How could they be so stupid?” Unfortunately, we are witnessing a complete collapse of common sense all over America. Many people seem to believe that if we could just get Obama out of office or if we could just reform our economic system that our problems as a nation would be solved, but that is simply not true. Our problems run much deeper than that. The societal decay that is plaguing our country is very deep and it is everywhere. We are a nation that is full of people that do not care about others and that just want to do what is right in their own eyes. We hold ourselves out to the rest of the world as “the greatest nation on earth” and an example that everyone else should follow, and yet our own house is rotting all around us. The words “crazy”, “insane” and “deluded” are not nearly strong enough to describe our frame of mind as a country. America has become a sad, delusional old man that can’t even think straight anymore. The evidence of our mental illness is everywhere.

http://www.prisonplanet.com/20-signs-that-we-are-witnessing-the-complete-collapse-of-common-sense-in-america.html

People in this country have been exhibiting irrational behavior for an entire decade now. (It is national policy now to rape, torture, bomb, kill, assassinate, and spread misery, all while not remotely getting the right guys. But yet you're a force for good in the world. This is the very definition of delusional thinking. American society is distinctly disturbed.)

But at least that irrationality conformed to some prescribed thinking, some harmonized pattern of behavior dictated by television and newspapers. The population were bound together in some uniform, cohesive irrationality. But even that is now beginning to break down as the system can no longer project a constant image onto the holodeck walls. Those who transmit from outside the holodeck (like me) are, as a consequence of delivering a truth which dismantles the holodeck, causing mental disturbances among those who had lived inside the holodeck.

It's like this Jet Blue pilot yesterday who started screaming about Al Qaeda and 9-11 and how the plane is goin' down and everything else. How did this guy suddenly go insane? He had previously been sane, that is, "cohesively mistaken," cohesively part of a deceived population inside an illusory, received reality. But he is now "insane," relative to an already delusional population.

His unconscious mind has somehow recognized that the reality he had inhabited was false. His conscious mind doesn't know what to do with this information. Essentially, his reality has collapsed and he has gone insane. He is inside some sort of nebulous no man's land where nothing is real. He has become detached from reality because there is no reality any longer for him --he had not identified a new, more accurate reality to inhabit before his old reality collapsed.

His mind had evicted him from his reality with nowhere to go, essentially.

You will see much more of this as the holodeck gets shut down. You are going to see some very bizarre behavior out of Americans very soon. And some of these people are going to be very dangerous --so dangerous that the rational among you with the means to do so may wish to leave the country for the next few years. It's gonna get pretty hairy around here as the nation goes full-on cuckoo. Talk to your local psychologist. He can predict what will happen when a society goes completely nutters. You'll see people winding up on the side of the road with holes drilled in their heads. You'll see mothers cooking their babies up in the oven because Satan was inside them. You'll see people jumping from buildings because they think they're a ladybug.

As much as I may insult my own audience, everyone comes here every day because they know that I serve a positive function in their lives: I transmit from outside the holodeck and they know that they can count on me to shepherd them back to sanity.

So don't worry. Competent authorities here know precisely how to fix this. Stick with me. I won't let you down.

The system will forever attempt to lure you back into the holodeck. I am your lighthouse, illuminating the landscape. You keep an eye on me and you'll do just fine.